Tag Archives: being different

SUNDAY IS THE MOST SPECIAL OF DAYS

It is Sunday July 20, 2014. Another Sunday ticking away just like any other day. They are all Sundays to me. I carry my church inside of me and it goes wherever I go every day of the week. I did all the building-type churches for most of my years. I loved it for the most part and certainly got a lot out of those experiences. Those experiences are part of who and what I am today. I still step into one of those buildings now and then and reach for evidence of the Spirit there; but, all I really have to do is reach inside of me and stroke the connection I have to all that is and I can be satisfied fully there or here or anywhere.  The photo that accompanies today’s blog is one I took of the church built into the rock in Sedona, AZ.  If you don’t take Spirit with you, it’s just another structure built on rock.  If you are aware of Spirit within you then everything is a spiritual experience.

When I am giving love to and petting my dog Ollie it is a spiritual experience.  When everything is Spiritual, that is, of  Spirit,  then everything becomes Spirit/God/The All That Is.  and I am then always “in Church”. I am always aware. God/Good/Love/Allah/Jesus or whatever name you give to THAT which is, is everywhere at all times present. This is not to say that going to church, belonging to a spiritual group of any kind is not something a person needs or should experience. Until you have done your spiritual quest and have run out of reasons to regularly attend a church or religious assembly, then you are doing exactly what is right for you. For anyone in this stage or place, I say please keep going because that is where you need to be. God knows where you need to be. I certainly do not know where you need to be.

Your very Spiritual Essence is who and what you are and can be expressed in so many different ways, I cannot begin to wrap my mind around the different stages, expressions, and ways that Spirit can be expressed in, as and through each person and event. These expressions come from the ONE, the wellspring from which all comes.  It takes forms, transforms, and recycles inside and outside of the bounds of time.

Be that unique expression of God, of Spirit, no matter whatever form that is.  Know that Sunday is a special day that one can have every single day whether or not you go to the place you call church.  Sunday is the most special of days. — Brenda A Elliott, MSW

AM I BEAUTIFUL?

I remember the first time I asked my mother about being pretty. I don’t remember the exact conversation we had verbatim or how I started that conversation but the gist of what transpired was that I was having an ugly duckling life. I wanted to know if I was pretty. If I couldn’t know that I was pretty, or at least attractive, then I wanted something to make me feel better so that I could live with the alternative. I hoped by asking the question, I would hear a response that would make me feel okay about myself.

In my mind, a female was not worth much nor did she get much attention unless she was attractive. In short, boys were not going to give me special valentines in grade school and when I got old enough, they were not going to date me. If I were attractive, I thought, people would like me more, smile at me more, include me in their circle, tolerate me more,and in general be more open to me. I wanted all that. I wanted to pound on that three-foot thick glass wall between where I was and where I wanted to be until I smashed it into a million pieces. What I wanted, no, what I thought I needed, was so close I could see it but I could not reach it through that wall.

I remember that Mama gave me the most over-used, but tried-and-true answer to that question. What else could she say to me, an awkward, shy, lonely little girl, accept that real beauty is inside? Today I know that beauty really is inside and that this beauty is pure love. Back then what I was really seeking was love, not physical beauty, but I didn’t know that. I thought physical beauty would bring me love and I would feel good about myself. I though if I were being sought after, admired, accepted or invited into the inside group, or was popular I would be okay. At that time I thought this would be proof to me that I was loved or worthy of love – that I was okay and normal. It was a matter of my chasing my own tail so to speak. It got me nowhere. I didn’t know until much later in life, that once I found that love inside of myself and learned to be okay with me, that I didn’t need the other things. I could feel love and be love with or without them. I could be thankful for all things but I already had what I needed, what I had searched for all my life.

I can not say that I never feel that I am not okay or good enough. Old habits and feelings can sneak up on me, on any human being, from time to time because these habits and feelings become so ingrained, so habitual. What I can say is that Love never leaves me. I can lose consciousness of it but I can never lose it. It nourishes me and fulfills me because that is all I wanted all along.

Am I beautiful? Yes I am. And so are you. How did I get to that place?  That is a subject for another chapter.